Finding a Way through the Painful Purging Process Part I

The first step in organizing yourself, your home, your office is to purge. This is usually the hardest step. I was recently trying to find space for magazines that covered a 20 foot dining room table, many of them dating back to 5 years ago or more which still had not been read. I kept wondering if they ever would be read.

Is there a purpose in keeping items that will never be read, used or needed? Or more importantly, can you accept that if you’ve had a magazine for more than 2 years, that perhaps it’s time to admit to yourself you don’t have time to read it.

Where do you put it all when there simply is no more space available? Will you be able to start to purge, to accept that letting something go doesn’t make you a failure? To limit the items you bring into your home? Can you accept responsibility, take action and maybe look forward to a new beginning in a home or office that has spaces not covered in something?

In our society, we’ve become major collectors. Seeming to have an insatiable need to gather as much stuff as we possibly can before we die, yet there is a downside to collecting everything: we don’t have the space. I’ve seen this obstacle solved by clients renting out or buying more space. Perhaps a second home is purchased for their belongings. Maybe they rent storage lockers. Does this solve the problem? Are you truly enjoying and using what you have? Do you even remember you have it? Would you be able to find the item if and when you did find time to read it or use it?

To successfully become organized the first step is to take responsibility for the decisions you make when purchasing an item and not react to the emotional levels purchasing items often bring. When deciding to bring a new item into your home or office, ask yourself:

1. Do I already own something like this?
2. Do I really like this item?
3. Do I need this item?
4. Will I use this item?
5. Do I have room for this item in my home?
6. Can I part with something else in order to make room for this item?
7. If I buy this item and I find that after 6 months to 1 year that I haven’t used the item, will I be willing to part with it so someone else can use or enjoy it?

If most of your answers are no, then you’re not ready to take responsibility for the items you own. Most likely you’ll let the emotional high of the purchase take over. Perhaps you’re having a difficult day and buying that magazine, book or blouse will make you feel better for the time being. Much like buying food such as candy or chips, the immediate gratification is there until you bring it home. Once the food is consumed, the guilt sets in. Once the blouse sits with its tag still on gathering dust in a corner, the guilt sets in. Often you convince yourself (not well) that you will, in fact wear that item, read that book, use whatever thing you bought to make yourself feel better. Just like the food binger promises they’ll diet. If that promise happens, great! However, more often than not, it’s a way to lie to ourselves as yet another quick fix towards feeling better about ourselves while ignoring the real problem.

The real problem with not purging is that chaos comes out of it. Clothing is pushed to the back of the closet never to be found or worn again. Items you love get lost or don’t last as long because they’re mistreated. Magazines and other reading materials get placed on top of one another creating large piles of paper which then attracts dust.

Stress and chaos become part of your life – the mounting wall of items that are accumulating makes space feel smaller and you are no longer rested in that environment. The feeling that you can never catch up on your reading becomes a nagging feeling and you feel stressed that there’s not enough time to get to everything. Energy is sucked out of you by your environment.

So the first step to avoiding that awful feeling of failure is to figure out why you’re buying those items you don’t use in the first place.

If you need help assessing your items and going through the purging process, contact Alison Kero at Gotham Concierge for a consultation. She provides free 15 minute consultations to new clients and is available in person in the NYC area and via Skype in the U.S. and Canada. She can be contacted at: 646-831-9625 or info@gothamconcierge.com.