The Art of Saying No

Time Management is an issue that affects most of my clients. It's why they contact us in the first place. They're smart enough to realize they need help and are willing to pay for extra time added to their lives.
However, time management is not just about outsourcing additional help when you need it. It's about making choices when adding new activities or opportunities to your already hectic schedule. How do you make those tough decisions? How do you turn down an opportunity without seeming ungrateful? How do you add more "life" into your work/life balance?
There's tons of ways to begin making positive changes to your work/life balance. Learning to say, "no" affectively is one of my favorite ways. Mostly because saying that word is so difficult for many people to say, especially women.
It is said that when a man says, "no" that is the end of the conversation. When a woman says, "no" it is the beginning of a negotiation. I find this, in most cases, to be quite accurate. I remember stepping down from a volunteer position due to lack of time, lack of desire and wanting to add other opportunities into my life and spent over 30 minutes defending my decision to the person in charge. It wasn't fun and frankly, my first reason was good enough - I didn't have enough time.
That being said, there are ways to say no more affectively.
"I thank you for the opportunity and hope more will be passed my way, but at this time I do not have the time to the focus that it nees to this project/opportunity . I hope you remember me again if another opportunity comes up in the future."
"I would love to assist you in that, but am feeling I do not have the time to cover this project by myself properly, is there a way someone else could either handle this or I can receive additional support from others?"
If you handle the, "gee, I'm sorry I don't have the time" situation well, most people will walk away feeling okay that you were unable to say yes. If, however, someone continues to persist, the best way is to say that you feel you've given your reason and you are delighted they feel so strongly about your being part of the activity or project but your time is precious and you've made your decision. " at that point you then make an excuse to walk away or get off the phone.
Lastly, always remember that you don't owe anyone any more of an explanation and often, the hardest part to learn is to realize this and stick to it. Do not feel guilty, do not feel obligated -those 2 key pieces will help when turning others down. You only have so much to give and are no good to anyone on a project or activity if you don't have the time or inclination to give it your full attention.