Often we think that once we make up our minds to change it just magically happens. I know I’ve tried it myself plenty of times. Then I get bored or it’s too hard or I get in my own way and I stop and go back to what’s easy. Even if what I’m doing that needs changing is actually harder for me, I feel it’s easier because that’s what I know.
Change happens gradually and with practice. A habit takes 30 days to form. Sometimes it can take even longer when someone is resisting the process. Those of you who would love to be more organized but are finding it difficult or challenging to start or how to start, may be relieved to discover this process doesn’t happen overnight.
I used to go into a new client’s home or office and take a look around. I’d listen to what he or she would tell me about their organizational process and the difficulties they were having. I’d make suggestions and we’d get to work. For the most part this was a good process. Things looked really great after we were finished.
What went wrong was I wasn’t teaching them the skills they needed to continue on their own. They quickly went back to their old methods of organizing and felt defeated. It’s purging when there’s a problem or about buying a new filing system from the Container Store. It’s about designing a system that works for you. Actually changing your habits from piling paper upon paper until you spend 15 minutes looking for an important item you just had “right in front of you a minute ago” to consistently filing those papers in a way that when you need to find a piece of paper it can take you less than 30 seconds to find it. That’s a system that works and keeps you motivated to continue.
A good system should allow you to know where your keys always are. A good system should get you to take responsibility for everything you own so you can actually find it.
I now simply consult clients on how to change their habits. I teach them how to figure out for themselves what they do to prevent themselves from living a fuller, easier and more stress free life. I teach them to manage their time, create with them systems for making decisions easier, systems to increase productivity and as a result, I have allowed those I work with actually make life lasting positive changes in their lives. It’s amazing.
If you are looking to make positive changes in your life, contact me at: info@gothamconcierge.com or 646-831-9625 to schedule a free 30 minute consulting session or sign up for biweekly sessions with me and see how working together and truly making a difference in organizing your time, space and life!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Finding a Way through the Painful Purging Process Part I
The first step in organizing yourself, your home, your office is to purge. This is usually the hardest step. I was recently trying to find space for magazines that covered a 20 foot dining room table, many of them dating back to 5 years ago or more which still had not been read. I kept wondering if they ever would be read.
Is there a purpose in keeping items that will never be read, used or needed? Or more importantly, can you accept that if you’ve had a magazine for more than 2 years, that perhaps it’s time to admit to yourself you don’t have time to read it.
Where do you put it all when there simply is no more space available? Will you be able to start to purge, to accept that letting something go doesn’t make you a failure? To limit the items you bring into your home? Can you accept responsibility, take action and maybe look forward to a new beginning in a home or office that has spaces not covered in something?
In our society, we’ve become major collectors. Seeming to have an insatiable need to gather as much stuff as we possibly can before we die, yet there is a downside to collecting everything: we don’t have the space. I’ve seen this obstacle solved by clients renting out or buying more space. Perhaps a second home is purchased for their belongings. Maybe they rent storage lockers. Does this solve the problem? Are you truly enjoying and using what you have? Do you even remember you have it? Would you be able to find the item if and when you did find time to read it or use it?
To successfully become organized the first step is to take responsibility for the decisions you make when purchasing an item and not react to the emotional levels purchasing items often bring. When deciding to bring a new item into your home or office, ask yourself:
1. Do I already own something like this?
2. Do I really like this item?
3. Do I need this item?
4. Will I use this item?
5. Do I have room for this item in my home?
6. Can I part with something else in order to make room for this item?
7. If I buy this item and I find that after 6 months to 1 year that I haven’t used the item, will I be willing to part with it so someone else can use or enjoy it?
If most of your answers are no, then you’re not ready to take responsibility for the items you own. Most likely you’ll let the emotional high of the purchase take over. Perhaps you’re having a difficult day and buying that magazine, book or blouse will make you feel better for the time being. Much like buying food such as candy or chips, the immediate gratification is there until you bring it home. Once the food is consumed, the guilt sets in. Once the blouse sits with its tag still on gathering dust in a corner, the guilt sets in. Often you convince yourself (not well) that you will, in fact wear that item, read that book, use whatever thing you bought to make yourself feel better. Just like the food binger promises they’ll diet. If that promise happens, great! However, more often than not, it’s a way to lie to ourselves as yet another quick fix towards feeling better about ourselves while ignoring the real problem.
The real problem with not purging is that chaos comes out of it. Clothing is pushed to the back of the closet never to be found or worn again. Items you love get lost or don’t last as long because they’re mistreated. Magazines and other reading materials get placed on top of one another creating large piles of paper which then attracts dust.
Stress and chaos become part of your life – the mounting wall of items that are accumulating makes space feel smaller and you are no longer rested in that environment. The feeling that you can never catch up on your reading becomes a nagging feeling and you feel stressed that there’s not enough time to get to everything. Energy is sucked out of you by your environment.
So the first step to avoiding that awful feeling of failure is to figure out why you’re buying those items you don’t use in the first place.
If you need help assessing your items and going through the purging process, contact Alison Kero at Gotham Concierge for a consultation. She provides free 15 minute consultations to new clients and is available in person in the NYC area and via Skype in the U.S. and Canada. She can be contacted at: 646-831-9625 or info@gothamconcierge.com.
Is there a purpose in keeping items that will never be read, used or needed? Or more importantly, can you accept that if you’ve had a magazine for more than 2 years, that perhaps it’s time to admit to yourself you don’t have time to read it.
Where do you put it all when there simply is no more space available? Will you be able to start to purge, to accept that letting something go doesn’t make you a failure? To limit the items you bring into your home? Can you accept responsibility, take action and maybe look forward to a new beginning in a home or office that has spaces not covered in something?
In our society, we’ve become major collectors. Seeming to have an insatiable need to gather as much stuff as we possibly can before we die, yet there is a downside to collecting everything: we don’t have the space. I’ve seen this obstacle solved by clients renting out or buying more space. Perhaps a second home is purchased for their belongings. Maybe they rent storage lockers. Does this solve the problem? Are you truly enjoying and using what you have? Do you even remember you have it? Would you be able to find the item if and when you did find time to read it or use it?
To successfully become organized the first step is to take responsibility for the decisions you make when purchasing an item and not react to the emotional levels purchasing items often bring. When deciding to bring a new item into your home or office, ask yourself:
1. Do I already own something like this?
2. Do I really like this item?
3. Do I need this item?
4. Will I use this item?
5. Do I have room for this item in my home?
6. Can I part with something else in order to make room for this item?
7. If I buy this item and I find that after 6 months to 1 year that I haven’t used the item, will I be willing to part with it so someone else can use or enjoy it?
If most of your answers are no, then you’re not ready to take responsibility for the items you own. Most likely you’ll let the emotional high of the purchase take over. Perhaps you’re having a difficult day and buying that magazine, book or blouse will make you feel better for the time being. Much like buying food such as candy or chips, the immediate gratification is there until you bring it home. Once the food is consumed, the guilt sets in. Once the blouse sits with its tag still on gathering dust in a corner, the guilt sets in. Often you convince yourself (not well) that you will, in fact wear that item, read that book, use whatever thing you bought to make yourself feel better. Just like the food binger promises they’ll diet. If that promise happens, great! However, more often than not, it’s a way to lie to ourselves as yet another quick fix towards feeling better about ourselves while ignoring the real problem.
The real problem with not purging is that chaos comes out of it. Clothing is pushed to the back of the closet never to be found or worn again. Items you love get lost or don’t last as long because they’re mistreated. Magazines and other reading materials get placed on top of one another creating large piles of paper which then attracts dust.
Stress and chaos become part of your life – the mounting wall of items that are accumulating makes space feel smaller and you are no longer rested in that environment. The feeling that you can never catch up on your reading becomes a nagging feeling and you feel stressed that there’s not enough time to get to everything. Energy is sucked out of you by your environment.
So the first step to avoiding that awful feeling of failure is to figure out why you’re buying those items you don’t use in the first place.
If you need help assessing your items and going through the purging process, contact Alison Kero at Gotham Concierge for a consultation. She provides free 15 minute consultations to new clients and is available in person in the NYC area and via Skype in the U.S. and Canada. She can be contacted at: 646-831-9625 or info@gothamconcierge.com.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Defining Your Success & Setting Goals
“A goal is a dream with a deadline” – Harvey Mackay
Few of us actually set goals properly so that they are effective and realized. There are so many choices that we are given today that often we feel overwhelmed. Many of us feel pressured to try all of the choices and get bogged down with too many activities. With too many activities we are only able to give a minimum of our attention to because we’re fighting so hard to keep our many balls up in the air. Unfortunately, we don’t realize our goals because we have too many of them and not enough time to devote to each one properly.
There are those of us who begin to feel so overwhelmed by the choices that it prevents them from doing anything. Terrified of making the wrong choice, afraid of heading in the wrong direction and as a result we simply do nothing with the hopes that perhaps the decision will be made for us. A decision will be made, but rarely is it the decision we actually desire or deserve. Inactivity due to fear is just a debilitating as too much activity and both practices prevent us from reaching our goals.
The trick is, and it’s not easy, to figure out what your goal really is. Adding specifics is a great way to find your true goal. In other words, say your goal is to have a business that makes you a lot of money. That’s great! What is “a lot of money” to you? What is the exact number that would make you feel as though you had a lot of money? This number will be different for everyone. Defining it depends upon what your perception of success is to you. In other words, will being able to afford what you need make you happy? Or will being able to buy an expensive car, own an expensive home and take expensive vacations be the key to your happiness?
Once you’ve figured out what that number is that will enable you to create the life you want your next step is to figure out how much you need to make in order to reach that goal. How many new clients will you need or how much of the product you sell will need to be sold in order to reach that financial goal and maintain it? What are the steps you need to take in order to reach those sales goals? How will you gain more clients or sell more of your product? How long will it take you to reach this goal?
Evaluating your current sales process will enable you to pinpoint and take your next steps. Is your sales process working for you? Have you been seeing your financial numbers rise? What steps are you taking that seem to work? Which are the steps that seem to hold you back? Eliminate or revise those ineffective steps. Evaluate those steps that are working for you as well. There is almost always room for improvement.
The most difficult decisions in the goal making process is to really dig deep and find out what makes you happy. One person’s perception of success can be vastly different than someone else’s. You have to know what you want for yourself and then actually feel comfortable with that decision. In these times, when our society seems to celebrate those who have lots of stuff as being successful you have to sit back and see a situation for what it really is. If you feel that owning lot’s of things is what you desire out of life then go after it with everything you’ve got. If, on the other hand, to you happiness and success means a life surrounded by friends and family, being able to afford what you need and a little of what you want, but you don’t need a large home or car, then go after that life with everything you’ve got. The key to it all is being comfortable with the choices you’ve made and never letting anyone tell you your level of success is wrong or not enough. In the end the only person who needs to believe you’re a success is you.
Few of us actually set goals properly so that they are effective and realized. There are so many choices that we are given today that often we feel overwhelmed. Many of us feel pressured to try all of the choices and get bogged down with too many activities. With too many activities we are only able to give a minimum of our attention to because we’re fighting so hard to keep our many balls up in the air. Unfortunately, we don’t realize our goals because we have too many of them and not enough time to devote to each one properly.
There are those of us who begin to feel so overwhelmed by the choices that it prevents them from doing anything. Terrified of making the wrong choice, afraid of heading in the wrong direction and as a result we simply do nothing with the hopes that perhaps the decision will be made for us. A decision will be made, but rarely is it the decision we actually desire or deserve. Inactivity due to fear is just a debilitating as too much activity and both practices prevent us from reaching our goals.
The trick is, and it’s not easy, to figure out what your goal really is. Adding specifics is a great way to find your true goal. In other words, say your goal is to have a business that makes you a lot of money. That’s great! What is “a lot of money” to you? What is the exact number that would make you feel as though you had a lot of money? This number will be different for everyone. Defining it depends upon what your perception of success is to you. In other words, will being able to afford what you need make you happy? Or will being able to buy an expensive car, own an expensive home and take expensive vacations be the key to your happiness?
Once you’ve figured out what that number is that will enable you to create the life you want your next step is to figure out how much you need to make in order to reach that goal. How many new clients will you need or how much of the product you sell will need to be sold in order to reach that financial goal and maintain it? What are the steps you need to take in order to reach those sales goals? How will you gain more clients or sell more of your product? How long will it take you to reach this goal?
Evaluating your current sales process will enable you to pinpoint and take your next steps. Is your sales process working for you? Have you been seeing your financial numbers rise? What steps are you taking that seem to work? Which are the steps that seem to hold you back? Eliminate or revise those ineffective steps. Evaluate those steps that are working for you as well. There is almost always room for improvement.
The most difficult decisions in the goal making process is to really dig deep and find out what makes you happy. One person’s perception of success can be vastly different than someone else’s. You have to know what you want for yourself and then actually feel comfortable with that decision. In these times, when our society seems to celebrate those who have lots of stuff as being successful you have to sit back and see a situation for what it really is. If you feel that owning lot’s of things is what you desire out of life then go after it with everything you’ve got. If, on the other hand, to you happiness and success means a life surrounded by friends and family, being able to afford what you need and a little of what you want, but you don’t need a large home or car, then go after that life with everything you’ve got. The key to it all is being comfortable with the choices you’ve made and never letting anyone tell you your level of success is wrong or not enough. In the end the only person who needs to believe you’re a success is you.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Being in the Moment
I see it every day, busy people who have added so many activities to their plates that they are overwhelmed, exhausted and not paying attention to things that matter. A client who takes over her daughter’s Brownie troupe yet doesn’t have the time to learn the rules, another who has a passion for military games so he continues to buy them despite the fact that he already has over 1,000 games. The businesswoman who wants to tackle 10 personal projects at once and wonders why she has no time left for herself or another client who thinks that she has small NYC closets yet has never worn 20% of what she owns.
We all forget to simply be in the moment. To enjoy what we have, to do a job and do it well. We instead try to perform 6 things at once and none of them particularly well. We are addicted to our Blackberries or other “stuff” that takes away our concentration from important matters such as our children, our work and even our time to rejuvenate and appreciate what we have. Can we truly say we’re happy? Do we even know what we’re doing anymore?
Being in the moment means concentrating on one thing at a time and not multi-tasking. Multi-tasking leads to jobs done part-way or even worse, our inability to care about what we’re even doing because our minds cannot process two things at once properly. We end up taking in the least important information and often disappointing others as well.
Time management means understanding how you are spending your time and knowing whether or not you can devote time to a new project. Simply because you’ve always loved photography doesn’t mean you have the time to start it now. I knew a woman who signed up for a writing course and managed to go once. Did she even get anything out of it?
How about understanding what you have in your closet and why. Are some of your belongings the result of impulse shopping when you’re having a bad day? Does a closet full of stuff you don’t like, want or need make you happy? I don’t know anyone who impulse shops who can then look at their purchases after the fact and actually feel good about it. If the activity ends up making you miserable, why continue to do it?
We need basic things to make us happy; our families, our friends, having passion in our lives yet we always seem to be pursuing materials items. We think that blouse will make us happy or we’ll buy 10 books thinking we’ll get to read them. That blouse will probably make us happy until we get it home and it sits in the closet staring at us accusingly. Those books will then sit in a corner gathering dust and every time you look at them you feel like a failure for not having the time to read them. Why not be in the moment, enjoy what you have, take on projects only when you know you can devote your time properly and always remember that yes, you CAN do anything you wish to do but you CANNOT do them all at once. Not the way they’re meant to be done and not in a way that will ever result in you being proud of a job well done.
Alison Kero, organization and productivity expert and founder of Gotham Concierge, helps business professionals develop goal achievement strategies through organizational skills. She teaches you how to stay focused in your pursuit of a goal and keep obstacles from sabotaging your efforts. Alison also helps business professionals and owners how to create the systems they need to become more organized. She teaches an easy-to-implement approach for managing your workload so you get the recognition you deserve. She arms you with the tools you need to manage your time, organize your work, and meet deadlines.
Alison Kero created Gotham Concierge in June, 2004. Alison has 15 years experience as the personal assistant to a number of high level executives in a variety of companies, trade associations, and NGOS as well as 5 years experience as a professional organizer. She understands what it means to lead a busy life, and what it takes to make things run smoothly for a busy professional. Prior to creating Gotham Concierge, Alison worked at Citigroup in International Private Banking and also worked as a freelance editor. She was notably published in the 2nd Edition of the Encyclopedia of American Foreign Policy as the bibliographical researcher. Alison also appeared in the fall of 2007 with world-famous fashionista David Evangelista on the CBS Morning Show and most recently in the summer of 2008 was interviewed by NY Business TV's host Mike Ryan. Her interview can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iup99BEEjKM.
We all forget to simply be in the moment. To enjoy what we have, to do a job and do it well. We instead try to perform 6 things at once and none of them particularly well. We are addicted to our Blackberries or other “stuff” that takes away our concentration from important matters such as our children, our work and even our time to rejuvenate and appreciate what we have. Can we truly say we’re happy? Do we even know what we’re doing anymore?
Being in the moment means concentrating on one thing at a time and not multi-tasking. Multi-tasking leads to jobs done part-way or even worse, our inability to care about what we’re even doing because our minds cannot process two things at once properly. We end up taking in the least important information and often disappointing others as well.
Time management means understanding how you are spending your time and knowing whether or not you can devote time to a new project. Simply because you’ve always loved photography doesn’t mean you have the time to start it now. I knew a woman who signed up for a writing course and managed to go once. Did she even get anything out of it?
How about understanding what you have in your closet and why. Are some of your belongings the result of impulse shopping when you’re having a bad day? Does a closet full of stuff you don’t like, want or need make you happy? I don’t know anyone who impulse shops who can then look at their purchases after the fact and actually feel good about it. If the activity ends up making you miserable, why continue to do it?
We need basic things to make us happy; our families, our friends, having passion in our lives yet we always seem to be pursuing materials items. We think that blouse will make us happy or we’ll buy 10 books thinking we’ll get to read them. That blouse will probably make us happy until we get it home and it sits in the closet staring at us accusingly. Those books will then sit in a corner gathering dust and every time you look at them you feel like a failure for not having the time to read them. Why not be in the moment, enjoy what you have, take on projects only when you know you can devote your time properly and always remember that yes, you CAN do anything you wish to do but you CANNOT do them all at once. Not the way they’re meant to be done and not in a way that will ever result in you being proud of a job well done.
Alison Kero, organization and productivity expert and founder of Gotham Concierge, helps business professionals develop goal achievement strategies through organizational skills. She teaches you how to stay focused in your pursuit of a goal and keep obstacles from sabotaging your efforts. Alison also helps business professionals and owners how to create the systems they need to become more organized. She teaches an easy-to-implement approach for managing your workload so you get the recognition you deserve. She arms you with the tools you need to manage your time, organize your work, and meet deadlines.
Alison Kero created Gotham Concierge in June, 2004. Alison has 15 years experience as the personal assistant to a number of high level executives in a variety of companies, trade associations, and NGOS as well as 5 years experience as a professional organizer. She understands what it means to lead a busy life, and what it takes to make things run smoothly for a busy professional. Prior to creating Gotham Concierge, Alison worked at Citigroup in International Private Banking and also worked as a freelance editor. She was notably published in the 2nd Edition of the Encyclopedia of American Foreign Policy as the bibliographical researcher. Alison also appeared in the fall of 2007 with world-famous fashionista David Evangelista on the CBS Morning Show and most recently in the summer of 2008 was interviewed by NY Business TV's host Mike Ryan. Her interview can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iup99BEEjKM.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Multi-tasking – a Bad Note to start on in the New Year
I remember when I used to put down multi-tasking as one of my strengths on my resume. I now realize how much of a weakness multi-tasking actually is. Instead of getting 3 tasks done at once I’m actually not paying attention to any of these tasks and am performing them poorly. This pretty much happens every time I try to multi-task. If I’m on the phone and looking at my e-mail I can actually end up saying words in the e-mail to the caller or I have absolutely no idea what I’ve just read or heard. It’s not effective and it ends up wasting time, not saving time.
The problem with multi-tasking is that in an effort to do more than one thing at once your mind ends up concentrating on the wrong bits of information. What actually happens is that the useless information ends up being what your mind remembers while the important information gets lost. What’s the point of holding onto useless information?
The other problem is that if you are thinking of or doing more than one thing at a time, how can you possibly care about either task if you can’t even provide those tasks with the concentration they deserve? Often your brain is overtaxed so you stop caring and that can lead to a whole host of problems, sociopathic behavior being one of them. I’ve met sociopaths and while I find it slightly fascinating that they can lie to your face and actually accept that lie as the truth, I don’t like surrounding myself with people who aren’t truthful. Since relationships, whether personal or business, are what drives us, how can you nurture these relationships if you don’t care enough to listen attentively to your boss, your client or your child? Will they continue to keep coming to you to help them solve a problem if they feel you don’t care? People tend to do business with those people they like so spending a meeting on your blackberry instead of listening isn’t likely to get you on their Top 10 Most Popular Businesses list.
Stress levels actually increase quite a bit when multi-tasking. This is because your mind is trying to do something it shouldn’t (doing 2 or more things at once) and it’s incredibly stressful. Think about what happens when you are totally in the moment and concentrating on one thing. Think of how focused your mind is, how you seem to get motivated and the work or effort produced is greater than at other times. Think of how happy that type of concentration ends up making you. It’s like when I go skiing. My favorite run in Stowe, VT is Goat. Goat is narrow, full of moguls, tree roots, rocks and ice. If I am not concentrating solely on skiing and where I am heading, I could seriously injure myself. Yet skiing down this run makes me incredibly happy, nearly giddy because I know it’s one of the few times when I get the sheer pleasure of being in the moment of skiing down a beautiful mountain and relying on the skills I have worked an entire life on to get me safely down the hill and I can’t be thinking about whether or not I paid a bill or whether or what to talk about in my next newsletter. I find that because I’m in the moment my creative juices start flowing and ideas will just come because I’m allowing my brain a bit of a rest for once.
There is something to be said about taking the time to smell the roses, of being in the moment, of enjoying where you are at instead of concentrating solely on where you’re going. Multi-tasking robs us of these precious moments and the statistics are coming back in loud and clear: it’s a nasty habit that no one benefits from. So the next time you start thinking about doing 2 things at once try to stop for a moment: take a breath and do just one thing at a time. See if you do it better that way. See how more relaxed you are and how better your work gets.
Start helping others to make this change. I’m hoping we’ll stop trying to multi-task since I never did quite get the hang of trying to listen and hear at the same time. I can’t process two people speaking to me at the same time and I never will figure out how to do so effectively. It usually stresses me out since I can’t choose which one to listen to so I hear none of either of them. Now that I understand the ramifications of trying to do so, I’m okay with never having mastered that “skill,” especially after learning that multi-tasking can lead to sociopathic-type behavior and may contribute to Alzheimer’s. I can do without developing either of those traits. I hope others can too.
The problem with multi-tasking is that in an effort to do more than one thing at once your mind ends up concentrating on the wrong bits of information. What actually happens is that the useless information ends up being what your mind remembers while the important information gets lost. What’s the point of holding onto useless information?
The other problem is that if you are thinking of or doing more than one thing at a time, how can you possibly care about either task if you can’t even provide those tasks with the concentration they deserve? Often your brain is overtaxed so you stop caring and that can lead to a whole host of problems, sociopathic behavior being one of them. I’ve met sociopaths and while I find it slightly fascinating that they can lie to your face and actually accept that lie as the truth, I don’t like surrounding myself with people who aren’t truthful. Since relationships, whether personal or business, are what drives us, how can you nurture these relationships if you don’t care enough to listen attentively to your boss, your client or your child? Will they continue to keep coming to you to help them solve a problem if they feel you don’t care? People tend to do business with those people they like so spending a meeting on your blackberry instead of listening isn’t likely to get you on their Top 10 Most Popular Businesses list.
Stress levels actually increase quite a bit when multi-tasking. This is because your mind is trying to do something it shouldn’t (doing 2 or more things at once) and it’s incredibly stressful. Think about what happens when you are totally in the moment and concentrating on one thing. Think of how focused your mind is, how you seem to get motivated and the work or effort produced is greater than at other times. Think of how happy that type of concentration ends up making you. It’s like when I go skiing. My favorite run in Stowe, VT is Goat. Goat is narrow, full of moguls, tree roots, rocks and ice. If I am not concentrating solely on skiing and where I am heading, I could seriously injure myself. Yet skiing down this run makes me incredibly happy, nearly giddy because I know it’s one of the few times when I get the sheer pleasure of being in the moment of skiing down a beautiful mountain and relying on the skills I have worked an entire life on to get me safely down the hill and I can’t be thinking about whether or not I paid a bill or whether or what to talk about in my next newsletter. I find that because I’m in the moment my creative juices start flowing and ideas will just come because I’m allowing my brain a bit of a rest for once.
There is something to be said about taking the time to smell the roses, of being in the moment, of enjoying where you are at instead of concentrating solely on where you’re going. Multi-tasking robs us of these precious moments and the statistics are coming back in loud and clear: it’s a nasty habit that no one benefits from. So the next time you start thinking about doing 2 things at once try to stop for a moment: take a breath and do just one thing at a time. See if you do it better that way. See how more relaxed you are and how better your work gets.
Start helping others to make this change. I’m hoping we’ll stop trying to multi-task since I never did quite get the hang of trying to listen and hear at the same time. I can’t process two people speaking to me at the same time and I never will figure out how to do so effectively. It usually stresses me out since I can’t choose which one to listen to so I hear none of either of them. Now that I understand the ramifications of trying to do so, I’m okay with never having mastered that “skill,” especially after learning that multi-tasking can lead to sociopathic-type behavior and may contribute to Alzheimer’s. I can do without developing either of those traits. I hope others can too.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Making It From Black Friday to NYE Successfully & Happily
Thanksgiving is over and Black Friday arrives. I always get the feeling I should be amongst those shoppers on that dreadful day, fighting my way through the crowds in order to get the best price on the latest iPod. Except the thought of being the mix of a frenzied crowd brings terrifies me…and irritates me. I know my limits and avoiding Black Friday like the plague is amongst them.
That being said, I always get stressed about the holidays. Am I buying gifts that people will like? Am I keeping to my budget (rarely)? Should this person get a holiday card even though I never hear from them? Will I get everything done on time and how can I avoid turning what should be a warm, fun holiday spent gathered with people I love into one of dread and stress?
Well, first off, I try to remember that I should be enjoying this time and then I make a plan. Knowing in advance what I will need helps me to plan out when I need to purchase the items, bake the cookies, send out the cards and it keeps me in line with my budget. It also helps me to avoid the stress of poor planning so now I rarely forget people and I find my stress levels are lower. The plan doesn’t have to be over-the-top, just a simple list of what I need for who and when is helpful to keep myself organized.
Holiday cards; most men don’t have to deal with this. I’m not sure why, but men are forgiven and rarely expected to send out cards. They are lucky. Then again, they probably don’t receive many cards themselves and I really like getting cards in the mail and hearing what others are up to or just reading the simple note. Which brings me to my next point: if you send out cards – keep the list shorter than the dictionary. Send out e-cards if you are so popular you have that many friends. If not, weed those people off the list you never speak to, don’t particularly care for, or who are too lazy to send you a card with anything other than their name on it. They’re not making an effort, why should you?
The art of gift giving. Some people are lucky, they have everything they possibly could want or need. Those who must buy those people gifts are not as lucky. So this year, I realized that after surviving through part of this recession that I am really lucky. I have everything I need and so do those people I intend to buy gifts for. So instead of racking my brain for a gift they’ll like and instead of going with the token bottle of wine or scented candle, I turned to Heifer International , Ocean.org, the Cancer Society, and the local animal shelter where my dad adopted his cat as a way to give gifts that can’t end up dusty in the back of a closet. I purchased honey bees, chicks, a hammerhead shark, and a baby seal on behalf of the people I love so we could give back to the planet in some small way. I have to say, I feel fabulous about these gifts which is a nice change from carting around heavy items and wondering if I picked out the right item. I couldn’t go wrong this year and I waited in no lines. Just pick a charity you think that person would also support. My aunt had cancer and is now healthy so I’m contributing to the American Cancer Society.
I’ve also been pacing myself. I do a little bit at a time instead of waiting for a Saturday in which to kill myself in a race to get everything done. It is satisfying and I feel a lot less stressed. I practice doing a little at a time for most things and I find I always get everything done on time. Not forcing myself to do it all at once helps me do better work, stay interested, stay on task and not feel like I need to tear my hair out. Whether it’s housecleaning, purging old files or clothing, or even shopping for gifts or groceries, it doesn’t need to be done all at once at the same time. Remembering I can do it all, but not all at the same time helps me keep what’s important in perspective.
My mother actually used to do a little at once over the holidays and managed to make a game out of it for us kids. Every day we’d come home from school to find she’d put up a few new decorations. This way she wasn’t doing it all at once and we got to figure out what was new and where she had placed it. It was very fun. Again, doing a little at a time makes the process easier, more enjoyable and it still gets done on time.
Speaking of mom’s they seem to be the one’s who do nearly everything in preparing for the holidays. Just remember that they need and deserve to be helped. Husbands can do their part and even small children can learn how to help as well. Offering to help someone during the holidays may be the greatest gift you can ever give them.
May you all have a happy and healthy holiday season.
That being said, I always get stressed about the holidays. Am I buying gifts that people will like? Am I keeping to my budget (rarely)? Should this person get a holiday card even though I never hear from them? Will I get everything done on time and how can I avoid turning what should be a warm, fun holiday spent gathered with people I love into one of dread and stress?
Well, first off, I try to remember that I should be enjoying this time and then I make a plan. Knowing in advance what I will need helps me to plan out when I need to purchase the items, bake the cookies, send out the cards and it keeps me in line with my budget. It also helps me to avoid the stress of poor planning so now I rarely forget people and I find my stress levels are lower. The plan doesn’t have to be over-the-top, just a simple list of what I need for who and when is helpful to keep myself organized.
Holiday cards; most men don’t have to deal with this. I’m not sure why, but men are forgiven and rarely expected to send out cards. They are lucky. Then again, they probably don’t receive many cards themselves and I really like getting cards in the mail and hearing what others are up to or just reading the simple note. Which brings me to my next point: if you send out cards – keep the list shorter than the dictionary. Send out e-cards if you are so popular you have that many friends. If not, weed those people off the list you never speak to, don’t particularly care for, or who are too lazy to send you a card with anything other than their name on it. They’re not making an effort, why should you?
The art of gift giving. Some people are lucky, they have everything they possibly could want or need. Those who must buy those people gifts are not as lucky. So this year, I realized that after surviving through part of this recession that I am really lucky. I have everything I need and so do those people I intend to buy gifts for. So instead of racking my brain for a gift they’ll like and instead of going with the token bottle of wine or scented candle, I turned to Heifer International , Ocean.org, the Cancer Society, and the local animal shelter where my dad adopted his cat as a way to give gifts that can’t end up dusty in the back of a closet. I purchased honey bees, chicks, a hammerhead shark, and a baby seal on behalf of the people I love so we could give back to the planet in some small way. I have to say, I feel fabulous about these gifts which is a nice change from carting around heavy items and wondering if I picked out the right item. I couldn’t go wrong this year and I waited in no lines. Just pick a charity you think that person would also support. My aunt had cancer and is now healthy so I’m contributing to the American Cancer Society.
I’ve also been pacing myself. I do a little bit at a time instead of waiting for a Saturday in which to kill myself in a race to get everything done. It is satisfying and I feel a lot less stressed. I practice doing a little at a time for most things and I find I always get everything done on time. Not forcing myself to do it all at once helps me do better work, stay interested, stay on task and not feel like I need to tear my hair out. Whether it’s housecleaning, purging old files or clothing, or even shopping for gifts or groceries, it doesn’t need to be done all at once at the same time. Remembering I can do it all, but not all at the same time helps me keep what’s important in perspective.
My mother actually used to do a little at once over the holidays and managed to make a game out of it for us kids. Every day we’d come home from school to find she’d put up a few new decorations. This way she wasn’t doing it all at once and we got to figure out what was new and where she had placed it. It was very fun. Again, doing a little at a time makes the process easier, more enjoyable and it still gets done on time.
Speaking of mom’s they seem to be the one’s who do nearly everything in preparing for the holidays. Just remember that they need and deserve to be helped. Husbands can do their part and even small children can learn how to help as well. Offering to help someone during the holidays may be the greatest gift you can ever give them.
May you all have a happy and healthy holiday season.
Monday, November 16, 2009
5 Ways to Survive Thanksgiving
Holidays are stressful. Mostly because we make them out to be stressful, so here are 5 ways you can survive Thanksgiving this year.
Be Thankful. It IS Thanksgiving after all. Sure, the holiday started out with the Native Americans kindly sharing their bounty with us and then we killed most of them and took their land but we can still be thankful that we’re with our families, we have our health, we have a day off from work or something. Just find something you’re grateful for and enjoy the day.
Plan ahead. Sure, some of you may get a rush by waiting until the last minute, but then you risk the good stuff being gone from the stores, or worse- the wrong sized turkey, the stress of not having anything done and the panic that comes when you can’t find one small, but key ingredient and have to travel to 6 busy grocery stores fighting with everyone else who waited until the last minute. At least plan out your list ahead of time, know what you need and how long everything will take. Add in an hour or two for those unexpected, “oh no!” moments and if you don’t need them, then sit back and relax. If you can pre-order your groceries or get them delivered, do so.
Ask for help! I’ve spent too many Thanksgivings doing all the shopping, the cooking and the cleaning. I then spent every Friday in an exhausted turkey induced stupor. Why? I have no idea. I could have asked everyone to help, but I didn’t. Do not make my mistake. If you have people over the age of 5 who are able bodied, give them a job to do and let them help out. Even if it’s taking out the trash with the turkey carcass in it, who cares, just know it’s not your sole responsibility to do absolutely everything. Unless you’re the maid and you’re being paid for it, then it is your responsibility.
Don’t overdo it. There’s no such thing as perfection and if you’re anything like me, the more you try to be perfect, the worse the situation becomes. The mistakes are kind of comical after the fact, but during that time you’re just needlessly stressing yourself out. Good enough is good enough. I once mistakenly spilled too much rosemary into my stuffing and couldn’t pick it out. The stuffing was painful to eat because the rosemary was poking our gums. It was a bit embarrassing, but I dealt with it, no one died and from then on I remembered that the cap to the rosemary should be opened carefully. See, good lessons can come from not-so-great events. You can probably do anything, but you certainly can’t do it all at once. Let little things go.
You can’t change anyone else but yourself. If you’re spending the holiday with your not-so-favorite relatives or friends, choose how you’re going to react to the day. Sure, Aunt Erma will probably drink too much…again, but that’s her issue, not yours. Choose to make sure that you have fun, you are relaxed and those little bumps that come with holidays are just little bumps instead of major tragedies. A major tragedy is when you put the deep fryer too close to the house and it burns down. Try making wine spritzers and hopefully that will help keep Aunt Erma slightly more sober, but if you walk into the holiday acting like you’re walking on to a battlefield, you probably won’t have much fun. Again, choose to let the little things go, if even for one day and be grateful everyone at the table is there again, at least for this year.
To learn more about Alison Kero and her company, Gotham Concierge or to schedule a time management seminar, webinar or one-on-one session with her, contact Alison at: info@gothamconcierge.com or 646-831-9625.
Be Thankful. It IS Thanksgiving after all. Sure, the holiday started out with the Native Americans kindly sharing their bounty with us and then we killed most of them and took their land but we can still be thankful that we’re with our families, we have our health, we have a day off from work or something. Just find something you’re grateful for and enjoy the day.
Plan ahead. Sure, some of you may get a rush by waiting until the last minute, but then you risk the good stuff being gone from the stores, or worse- the wrong sized turkey, the stress of not having anything done and the panic that comes when you can’t find one small, but key ingredient and have to travel to 6 busy grocery stores fighting with everyone else who waited until the last minute. At least plan out your list ahead of time, know what you need and how long everything will take. Add in an hour or two for those unexpected, “oh no!” moments and if you don’t need them, then sit back and relax. If you can pre-order your groceries or get them delivered, do so.
Ask for help! I’ve spent too many Thanksgivings doing all the shopping, the cooking and the cleaning. I then spent every Friday in an exhausted turkey induced stupor. Why? I have no idea. I could have asked everyone to help, but I didn’t. Do not make my mistake. If you have people over the age of 5 who are able bodied, give them a job to do and let them help out. Even if it’s taking out the trash with the turkey carcass in it, who cares, just know it’s not your sole responsibility to do absolutely everything. Unless you’re the maid and you’re being paid for it, then it is your responsibility.
Don’t overdo it. There’s no such thing as perfection and if you’re anything like me, the more you try to be perfect, the worse the situation becomes. The mistakes are kind of comical after the fact, but during that time you’re just needlessly stressing yourself out. Good enough is good enough. I once mistakenly spilled too much rosemary into my stuffing and couldn’t pick it out. The stuffing was painful to eat because the rosemary was poking our gums. It was a bit embarrassing, but I dealt with it, no one died and from then on I remembered that the cap to the rosemary should be opened carefully. See, good lessons can come from not-so-great events. You can probably do anything, but you certainly can’t do it all at once. Let little things go.
You can’t change anyone else but yourself. If you’re spending the holiday with your not-so-favorite relatives or friends, choose how you’re going to react to the day. Sure, Aunt Erma will probably drink too much…again, but that’s her issue, not yours. Choose to make sure that you have fun, you are relaxed and those little bumps that come with holidays are just little bumps instead of major tragedies. A major tragedy is when you put the deep fryer too close to the house and it burns down. Try making wine spritzers and hopefully that will help keep Aunt Erma slightly more sober, but if you walk into the holiday acting like you’re walking on to a battlefield, you probably won’t have much fun. Again, choose to let the little things go, if even for one day and be grateful everyone at the table is there again, at least for this year.
To learn more about Alison Kero and her company, Gotham Concierge or to schedule a time management seminar, webinar or one-on-one session with her, contact Alison at: info@gothamconcierge.com or 646-831-9625.
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